I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just found puke in my bra..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
