everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
