I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
