Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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