i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
