Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
