The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
