So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
