How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
