When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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