Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
