A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
is it fun? or sober?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
