I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
