omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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