I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
