happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize