My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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