u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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