All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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