She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
