And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
