so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
