We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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