Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
