I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My breasts were aching with rage.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
