We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
