yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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