Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
