i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
