Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
