I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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