Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
