fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They have beer where we have blood.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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