yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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