My liver just broke up with me...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
