I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
