I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
