I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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