we're blogging at a bar
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
