so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
