Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
