HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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