dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
