I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Small penises have feelings too.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
