farters have to be the big spoon...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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