worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
