I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
