I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
