Nicole vs. Life
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I could fuck to npr.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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