I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
