I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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