imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
