i can't believe i had my finger in that
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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