i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
